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08-Nov-2017 08:58

I know the former because he admitted to finding me by putting "pale, freckles" in the search field; I suspect the latter because the first words out of his mouth after confirming I was an actress were, "Ha! "‬‪Despite these red flags, Ross's charm got to me.

But after three dates of monologues about his divorce, I asked if he had the room in his life to get to know me. Because the main thing that kept me on the merry-go-round of Match was the fact that it worked…well, almost.‬ ‪Deep in Profile 2.0 (softer, more feminine, now with anecdotes!

As Being-a-Person-101 as it sounds, when they ask how I am I remind myself to tell them what I'm feeling not what I'm doing.‬‪It's likely I'll one day return to online dating.

I met interesting men and went to a ton of interesting wine bars.

That, combined with my sassy writing style, made me catnip to attractive Type As.

I ordered potential matches to obey cheeky "playground rules": no hitting, no racism, share your sandtoys, and to refrain from complaining about work.

I met several interesting men, most of whom seemed uninterested in having a relationship, at least with me.

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I slipped in an "I feel" statement ("I feel most relaxed and playful when I'm with someone whose affections are consistent and whose intentions are clear").Maybe this break needed to be a retirement.‬***It takes a certain kind of woman to walk through the looking-glass of online dating.I wouldn't want you to assume that you, too, will lose a chunk of your thirties and thousands of dollars (therapy hours, clothes bought in the wake of misguided hookups...) just because you cobble together a profile.‬Related: ‪As a professional actor for the last 15 years, my career has primed me for this level of extreme online dating.I was conflating dating and commercial auditioning, in particular.

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In both I resented the long drives, the amount of time I spent worrying about my hairstyle, and the throwing-spaghetti-against-the-wall element.In fact, if you've ever run into me at a party in the last three years, you may have caught one of my enthusiastic how-to lectures on profile writing or how I developed my three-pronged screening process.